Saying Goodbye
Final farewell - your guide to saying goodbye.
Sadly few pets die peacefully in their sleep at home. The decision of when to say a final farewell to a pet may be one of the hardest a pet owner has to make - it is also one of the bravest and kindest.
Being prepared for this day can make it easier to cope with when the time comes. When you feel the time is right, this guide will help support you; walking you through the practical decisions that need to be made and helping you to understanding your emotions.
As pet owners ourselves many of us at Parkvets have experienced the loss of a much loved pet. If you would like to discuss any of the following information, please speak to a member of staff who will be able to advise you.
Importantly, nobody knows your pet better than you and the people closest to you; do talk through any decisions and share how you are feeling with your friends and family.
Making the right choice
Euthanasia is a Greek word meaning 'gentle death'. Commonly referred to as 'putting to sleep', euthanasia is a humane way of ending the suffering our pets may experience due to illness or old age. It is frequently considered to be the kindest and most loving choice in such a situation.
How do I know when the time is right?
The decision will ultimately be yours. While you may want to delay any decision, there will come a time when your pet's well-being and quality of life are the most important considerations.
Indications that your pet may not be enjoying life as much as they used to include: loss of appetite, a reluctance to move around or play, difficulty breathing, appearing tense or withdrawn.
If you feel the time may have been reached to have your pet euthanased, an appointment can be made with your vet to give your pet a full examination and provide appropriate advice.
Saying Goodbye
Where can I say goodbye?
Euthanasia is carried out by a vet, usually at the practice surgery. When making the arrangements beforehand, inform the practice of your wishes to secure an appointment during a quieter part of the day. Bringing a family member or friend with you for support and to drive you home afterwards can be of help.
It may be possible to arrange for a home visit where familiar surroundings may be more relaxed for your pet and you (additional charges apply).
What happens beforehand?
When the decision has been made to put your pet to sleep you will be asked to sign a consent form. This is a document confirming that you have authorised us to proceed with your pet's euthanasia.
Can I stay with my pet?
It is a personal choice as to whether or not you stay with your pet during the euthanasia. If you do stay, the euthanasia will only happen when you are ready and you will be able to stroke and comfort your pet during the procedure.
If you do not wish to stay or if you feel distressed, it may be best to leave the room and return afterwards, when you can spend some time with your pet to say goodbye.
What will I see?
Euthanasia is usually performed by the injection of a concentrated anaesthetic agent into a vein. Your pet will quickly and peacefully lose consciousness as the body shuts down. Your vet will then confirm that your pet has passed away.
How to Remember Your Pet
What are my options?
After the euthanasia you will need to decide what happens to your pet's body. It is recommended that where possible, you discuss the options in advance with all those involved so you can consider all the available choices carefully and calmly. Options to consider are:
Cremation
Parkvets use the services of CPC, the UK's leading pet crematorium since 1979. CPC provides bereaved owners with a range of sensitive and compassionate pet cremation services.
Before making a decision, you can speak to a member of our staff. Alternatively, you may wish to speak with a Bereavement Advisor at CPC by telephoning 01763 207700 or visiting their website www.cpccares.com.
Individual cremation
You leave your pet in our care, to be cremated individually with dignity by CPC. After the cremation, the ashes of your pet will be carefully placed into a casket or urn of your choice. Your pet's ashes will then be securely packaged and returned to Parkvets ready for you to collect.
With individual cremations, there is the opportunity to attend and say a final farewell to your pet at the crematorium. Should you decide to do this, a bereavement advisor will explain the service to you on arrival at CPC, and be on hand throughout to provide you with support and comfort. After you have said your last goodbye, you may find it reassuring to witness your pet's cremation on a television monitor in the farewell room. If you do attend, you may be able to take your pet's ashes home with you on the day.
If you are interested in this then please speak to your vet prior to the euthanasia so arrangements can be made.
Caskets and Urns
There are several choices of caskets and urns suitable as a keepsake or for interment, but the following two options are the most popular:
1. Beech Casket
A simple and elegant beech casket with your pet's name engraved on a brass plaque.
2. A Presentation Container
Biodegradable cardboard container. Suitable for the scattering of ashes. Many clients choose this option and scatter their pet's ashes on a favorite beach or woodland walk.
Communal cremation
You leave your pet in our care, to be cremated with other pets at CPC. Token ash from each communal cremation service will be placed into a casket. This casket will then be stored in a columbarium vault in the crematorium's Garden of Remembrance.
For clients who wish to visit CPC, each columbarium is surrounded by a remembrance area where you may place a memorial in memory of your pet.
Burial
You may wish to take your pet home for burial, but please bear in mind that this may not always be practical for health, safety and environmental issues. A fact sheet outlining the practicalities of home burial can be obtained from CPC. Alternatively, you might like your pet's final resting place to be in a dedicated pet cemetery.
When do I have to decide?
It may help you to have made your decision regarding final arrangements before bringing your pet for euthanasia. However, it is possible for us to keep your pet's body for 7 days, allowing time for reflection before making your decision.
Coping with your loss
When facing the loss of a much-loved pet, you may experience a range of emotional responses, testimony to the special bond between you and your pet.
Tears are a completely normal and understandable immediate response, but grief can express itself in any number of ways including: sadness, shock, denial, guilt, anxiety, anger, fear and loneliness. Such feelings could last from a few hours to a few weeks - and some may be stronger than others.
Talking to someone about how you feel can bring comfort. Reminiscing about your pet, remembering how much they were loved, can be healing while discussing particular concerns may help you find practical solutions. Writing a poem, putting together a photograph album or creating an online tribute are other ways you can express the bond that you had with your pet.
Remember that it may not just be humans that are affected; animals can form deep attachments with each other and may experience emotional responses similar to our grief process when facing loss.
Bereavement counselling
Counselling can provide compassionate and sympathetic support for those who have experienced the loss of a beloved pet. You may wish to contact the following organisations for confidential support:
- The Pet Bereavement Support Service - Co-ordinated by the Blue Cross and the Society for Companion Animal Studies - Tel: 0800 096 6606 or email: pbssmail@bluecross.org.uk
- Cruse Bereavement Care - Tel: 0844 477 9400, email: helpline@cruse.org.uk or visit www.crusebereavementcare.org.uk
- The Samaritans - Tel: 08457 90 90 90, email: jo@samaritans.org, or visit: www.samaritans.org
Recommended reading
There are a number of good books on coping with pet bereavement which are available from amazon.co.uk including:
- Absent Friend, by Laura and Martin Lee.
- Goodbye, Dear Friend, by Virginia Ironside, published by Robson.
- Missing My Pet, by Alex Lambert, published by BGTF Ltd
- When Your Pet Dies , by Alan Wolfelt
Click the links below for full reviuews of each book on amazon.co.uk.
Acknowledgement
We are thankful for the time and effort put into the production of this article by the staff of the Cambridge Pet Crematorium. You can learn more about what the CPC do by clicking this link to their website.
